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I asked
the Lord into my heart as a little girl. I can remember saying
that prayer over and over again, because I was afraid I had somehow said
it wrong the time before. I was the youngest of five children and by the
time I came along, church was out, but my mom was a Christian and she
shared her faith with me.
My faith didn’t really start growing until junior high. I started going on
my own to a youth group. I had so many doubts. Not about God, I have
always believed in a creator who made me and this world. I just wasn’t
sure that Christianity was true. The youth leaders gave me all sorts of
books to read. One of them was by Joni Eareckson. What an incredible
testimony! By my freshman year of high school, I had committed my life to
Jesus Christ. I even got baptized at the E.V. Free church in Arcadia, Ca.
(my native state) where my family was then attending.
Trouble was, I still had doubts. I decided to attend a Christian college
in hopes of finding some answers to my questions. I chose Westmont in
Santa Barbara. That first year of college changed my life. I remember one
of my favorite professors saying “there is no true Messianic prophecy.”
His words stuck with me as I went home. He confirmed my doubts.
“I knew I was right.” I thought, “It’s all made up.”
That summer I began reading the assigned scriptures that I skipped during
the actual course. I came across Isaiah 53 and Psalm 22:16- “Dogs have
surrounded me; a band of evil men has encircled me, they have pierced my
hands and my feet.” Written hundreds of years before Roman crucifixion was
known in the ancient world, it qualified, in my mind, as a true prophecy.
I wish I could say that I never doubted again; but I had moments of brain
fade. My mother’s faith helped me a great deal. Those stories she shared
with me as a child took root in my adult life. I can now see Christ in the
Passover and throughout the scriptures, just as she can. My mother has
since died, but her words live on in me and my music. And, I can finally
say that I don’t doubt my faith anymore. I guess I must have said one of
those prayers right, because Jesus did come into my heart.
BTW, I transferred out of Westmont (a great school) and eventually
graduated from Biola. All you Biola alumns, I hope you like the music!
I am currently living in Tennessee with my husband and daughter. Most of
my time is spent homeschooling.
If you have any questions about faith in Jesus, please e-mail me. I might
be able to point you to a few helpful scriptures and I can always pray
with you |